Timeworn

I fell in love with all things antique and vintage today, as well as all the adventures I am led into. I had planned on knocking off all of the items on my list of errands, but I was gladly interrupted by my sense of adventure. One moment I was driving purposefully, and the next I find myself pulling into an old beaten up parking lot littered with antique shops. I walked in through the crowded doorways of each shop, ambled down each aisle, and perused each antediluvian piece. I wondered who's fingers had held them before, I wondered if they had been cherished or disregarded, I wondered if I would like them. Everything I passed had a story and a sense of wisdom. It was like these thing had seen more years than I had, and they could share with me all the secrets they had learned over time. Some taught of Simplicity and Peace, others taught of intricate Beauty. They spoke of different times when the values that were upheld back then showed in all crafts.

My Circumstancial Baggage

I had a whole supplementary set of beliefs when I was dating. They were my essentials that I would carry with me like a suitcase; rules of conduct that I had to follow, test and, temper in order to remain sane and keep a quite heart. I wouId pack and repack those "bags" until I knew what I really needed to carry with me. I don't really remember what is in those bags now, but I get flashes of what I packed when people tell me about their relationships and how they and their significant other acts towards one another. Honestly, when I hear those stories, most times I get a little prickling in the back of my mind with a message attached saying, "That's not the way to make each other happy! That goes against my rules. Believe me, I tried it the other way and I KNOW it doesn't work! It just makes the journey harder and the two of you will only find misery ... They must not know what to pack and what to leave behind."
Then I remember those times that taught me "the rules" and I feel an amalgam of sweet remembrance as well as melancholy because it is all but a faded memory, but then... relief. I no longer have to manage that extra load... I can walk freely with both of my hands free and my back straight and unencumbered.

One day I may have to pick up these beliefs again, and I am sure I will do it joyfully. But for now? I will relish in simplicity and my light load. I will take things slowly, stopping to see the sights and enjoy everything around me! For now, those bags will stay static in the back of my closet until a gentle kiss awakens them and the next journey begins.

What Have I Really Learned From All This Pain?

I've learned how important it is to not try and protect yourself if you have made a mistake. Don't hide from the consequences just because they might be painful to you. No matter how big or small the conflict, if I am the offender I will strive to be the first one to say so, and the last to think so. If I do not take responsibility for the pain I cause then it torments the victim even more.

Thanks for the lesson. I promise I will not listen to Bitterness, Self-Pity, or Resentment.